Are you sure?

My son has the most incredible, special feet there ever were. His little toes are so adorable. I love how soft and sweet the are. And when he runs, sometimes my eyes well with tears of gratitude. 

"For we live by faith, not by sight."
-2 Corinthians 5:7

Today we met with his orthopedic doctor. Our first visit in a year. As we entered the elevator to the office, I looked over at my husband and referenced the many times in Hudson's first few months of life we had been in that very space. Anxious for what would be. 

I can't help but to tell you that I was anxious today about our appointment. We experienced so many unknown things when Hudson was first diagnosed with clubbed feet. It was as if all of those feelings came rushing back. 

But today was different. Today, the doctor looked at us and said [jokingly],

"are you sure this boy had clubbed feet?" 

As if to say, his feet are so perfect now that he just couldn't believe his feet had been so deformed at birth. 

I realize now that Hudson having clubbed feet at birth was like literally one of the more mild issues we could have dealt with as brand new parents. But I also remember the despair I felt for my child when he was born and began to have his feet casted every week. 

There are so many parents experiencing challenges with their brand new little ones that can be SO scary in those first few months, and you just feel like you have no idea how you will make it through. Not only do you adjust your sleep schedule, but your body (as a new mama) is going through some wacky changes and things in general. Then to top it all off, you have this child who depends on you for it's every need. It can be a bit much for two people to handle. 

I remember what our orthopedic doctor and his physicians assistant said to us in our first ever consultation with them. It struck me then and it still strikes me when I think back on it. 

I was a hot mess in that doctors office that day. I was a 20ish weeks pregnant woman who had just been told her child was going to have bilateral clubbed feet and would need lots of treatment in order to even be able to walk, let alone run or dance [like he does so BEAUTIFULLY today]. I was thinking about all of the things we would face as new parents with a child who had clubbed feet, and I was on the verge of tears through just about the whole thing. And then the PA looked at me and said so very honestly, 

"you just worry about your baby, we are going to take care of his feet." 

If the tears weren't flowing before that point, they were then. 

And I kind of think sometimes that is what God is saying to us [in a round about way]. You just keep on going, I'll take care of the rest. 

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds in the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable then they?"
-Matthew 6:25-26

Oh boy, I got a dose of a reminder today in that office again. Two years later. We are blessed. OH so blessed. And God, the Lord of Lords, the King of Kings, Alpha and Omega, He is oh so GOOD. 

One Year Later

My dearest Hudson,

I cannot believe it's been a year since that eventful day you came into this world. I want you to know how many people were there at the hospital, all day, waiting for your arrival. Before you even arrived, you had captured the hearts of so many. But as your mommy, I cannot tell you how much joy, fear, strength, and love you have brought into my life. I have said it so many times, but before you, I had longed so much to be a mother and you made all of those hopes and dreams come true by making me one!

Your entrance brought a lot of joy, but there was also a lot of uncertainty. As your mommy I worried a lot about whether you would grow and thrive the way I know God intentioned for you to. There were so many people praying for you and your treatment as an itty bitty boy. I remember those first few weeks being some of the most heart aching, wonderful days of my life. It was hard watching you have to wear those little casts all of the time. Yet, I was mesmerized by you. We dreamt of the day we would watch you run and play. Although there were days that were extrememely difficult, I want you to know that Jesus kept me constant and reminded me that you, my son, were going to do great things.

As the days slowly turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, you continued to not only grow and thrive, but overflow our cups with joy and love. You were SUCH a good little boy. You slept well, you ate well, you cuddled, you cooed, you pooped, and you did it all in stride. I know there will be a lot you will teach me about patience.

Hudson, this past week, celebrating your first birthday was simply a reminder from the Lord of His promises. Jesus promised daddy and I that He would take care of you this first year and the years to come, and he did that and so much more. I wish there was a way to put into words how it feels to be your mommy, but I simply cannot limit the love I have for you to a few words on a page. You must know through everything I do that you are loved immeasurably more!

You will look back at pictures as you grow big and strong and see that there were many people here to celebrate you on your first year. You are that special to so many people. It was the most perfect day. There was a crisp fall feel to the air, and the sun shone so bright for you. Friends and family filed into our little house with food, gifts and smiles anxiously awaiting to hear your sweet giggle or catch a glimpse of your stunning smile with those eyes that would light up a room. We laughed as you (and mommy and daddy) opened gifts and you were so enamored with the big kids trying to help as well. We celebrated by singing happy birthday, and letting you dig in to your monster cake. Which you did, and you ate about half. Haha. The day was simply a reflection of the joy and happiness you have brought us over this past year. And in true fashion, you made this day even more perfect by taking your  very first steps. YOU my son, are a miracle and those first steps are more than just that. They represent all that you will accomplish in this life.

I want to wish you a very happy first birthday, and simply try and tell you I love you to the moon and back. Thank you for being my joy, and my pride. You are my boy.

Love,

Your mommy


We partied hard to celebrate your birthday sweet boy, here are our captured moments!

Never a Dull Moment

We've been going, going, going since Hudson blessed us with his presence in September and there have been absolutely zero dull moments around Casa De Huff.

Since finding out about Hudson's club feet, I knew that God would allow our story to provide comfort to other mama's and daddy's in their fear, and uncertainty with having a baby with club feet. I had faith that He would allow us to do it, I just didn't really know how.

In the past month, we were able to share our Hudson story on one of the Club Feet blogs that provided US with much comfort after finding out that Hudson had them. Faith, Feet, and Love allowed us to share our story on their blog, and we were so honored. Check it out for yourself here!

A few weeks ago, we were eating dinner and sat across from a young couple with a son around 18 months old who I noticed kept eying Hudson's brace (typical, as I get that a lot when we are out). I just figured they didn't knw what it was and wondered what I had done to my kid. Later, they got our attention and told us that their son had a brace as well, only he now only has to wear his at night. It was such a great reminder that you just never know who you might meet and what connection you might have with them!

My favorite time of day is when I get to cuddle and rock my little guy to sleep. I get to soak up these fleeting moments with him. We are absolutely loving how much he has turned our world upside down! It's SO hard to put into words what being a parent does to you, its incredibly spiritual and beautiful. LOVE that kid SOOOO much!

Here are some highlights of our last month, moments we are cherishing!

Couldn't help myself. This could be used for black mail one day. :) Or maybe just senior year of high school.

Hudson's first Easter

I love my family.

Hudson meeting his great-grandma Nita!

My big 6 month old boy!

Those eyes MELT my heart!

Miracle Feet

Our little family, love my boys!

I am totally biased, but he is a beautiful boy.

Hudson Goes to Florida

We left warm, beautiful, sunny Florida early yesterday morning and returned to overcast, damp, chilly Kansas. It was a wonderful trip and coming back was hard but home is always good. So with the another impending snow storm headed our way I thought I would sit down and share about the adventures of our trip. 

Ry & I before leaving KC.

I had some anxiety about this trip 1. going through TSA with Hudson's Ponseti brace  and 2. traveling (flying) with a baby. So, of course, I did my research and decided that Hudson would just wear his brace through security so that if TSA decided to start questioning the brace they could see that he needed to wear it. We walked through and set off the buzzer so they asked us to step aside. 20 minutes later both Ryne and I got a full pat down and were finally cleared. It really didn't bother me at the time because I guess I had pretty much expected it but I later started thinking about the fact that there could actually be someone coming through that is dangerous and they were wasting their time with us. Not to mention, the newly revised rule that passengers may now carry pocket knives on air planes. Really?! Who needs a pocket knife on an AIRPLANE?! Rant over. Sorry.

So as we took off on our first flight with Hudson, I was SO nervous! I didn't want to be the people on the airplane with a screaming baby. I could just imagine him screaming and crying the whole time and both Ry and I being stressed to the MAX trying to console him. I know it's not something we can entirely control and there are so many people who completely understand, but there's always Joe Schmoe who apparently has either never had children or just thinks his children are better than everyone else and will stare/give dirty looks the entire time. Thankfully, we didn't have to worry about ANY of that. Hudson was a complete dream. He slept and played the entire way and didn't shed a tear! We just keep thinking that this isn't real. Haha. And it's a good thing too because our first flight into Nashville went right through a storm and was hit by lightning, twice! I have a touch of flying anxiety to begin with so that just about sent me over the edge. Luckily, we landed fine and our second flight was a cake walk.

The week in Florida was incredible. We had so much fun watching Hudson experience so many firsts! We made a little exception and let him have a little more free feet time just so he could enjoy the sun & sand while we were there. We have been really committed to his brace wear for so long, partly because I was so adamant about him having the best results possible and partly because Hudson has made it so easy. One thing that I have been continually reminded of about Hudson, is that he has a very soothed and steady demeanor. Even before birth, he was just go with the flow.  As I reflect on the past 6 months and all of the journey we have already experienced, I am amazed at his progress, the way we have become a family, the knowledge and expertise of our doctors who have helped us step by step, and the many moments when our friends and family have stopped to say a prayer for Hudson and those little miracle feet!

Hudson's first time swimming. He loved it. I think we have a water baby! (sorry for the paleness!)

Hudson baby's first time on the beach. And he was 6 months this day!

Miracle feet experiencing the ocean for the first time.

Hudson loves his Auntie Annie so much! He is blessed to have aunts and uncles who love him so much.

Hudson visited the zoo for the first time in Florida

His favorite animal was the giraffe! Probably because he loves his Sophie so much!

And this sums up Hudson's thoughts after an adventure filled vacation. :)

Mama said there'd be days like this

Time for an update. Lots to update! First, I just need to say that I really enjoy getting to share our story through this blog. I used to write all the time. It was therapeutic, and I sincerely loved it. I had journals full of diary entries, prayers, thoughts, whatever. Being able to write again has reminded me how much I loved it, and why it was so important to me.

October - Lots & lots of cuddles with the boy. He was Tigger for Halloween. He slept through all of the trick or treaters coming. October flew by fast I felt like. I guess that's what happens when you have a new baby! We are so blessed with Hudson though. He is such a happy baby. In October, he started smiling...a lot. Nothing better. Nothing.

Everyone always asks us, "is he a good sleeper?" I just smile and say "yes, yes he is." I did so much reading about babies with clubfeet before Hudson was born so I could prepare myself for what would be to come, and what I read a lot of what that babies with club feet have a harder time sleeping through the night. Makes since. With all of the castings, surgeries, and the brace...I totally got it. But when Hudson slept through the night for the first time at 3 weeks...I was appalled. I just knew it wouldn't last. But it did. He has only had a few "sleepless" nights here and there due to some uncomfort from his treatment. Those nights seem so long. But I often have to remind myself how LUCKY we are that he just did this on his own. He's amazing.

November - Hudson had his tenotomy at the beginning of the month. It was really an unexplainable feeling to know that this was the right thing, the best thing for Hudson even, but to know that he was going to have to go through pain to get there was SO hard. I do think this was the hardest part of the entire treatment process.  They casted him immediately afterward, and we took him home right after the procedure. That might have been the scariest part. We were told to watch his bleeding, and that if it was excessive to call. He had some big spots of blood on his casts, and we freaked a little but in the end it all ended up to be okay.

We also celebrated Hudson's first Thanksgiving this month. He didn't get to fully enjoy the holiday, but I imagine next year he will indulge in some turkey and mashed 'taters. :)

I went back to work the following week after Thanksgiving. Being a working mama is a whole different ballgame people. All mama's work hard, and stay at home mama's work hard, I know, but being a working mama is pretty tough. There is a lot to balance. Being devoted to both career and family. I especially think teachers have it tough. I know so many teachers that work so many late hours just to give their students the best they deserve. As a mommy, its a tug of war of devotion. I am slowing figuring out how to manage it all. I love my job, and it is my calling in life. But I have quickly learned that I am FIRST and FOREMOST a mommy to Hudson and wife to Ry, then I am a teacher.

December - Has begun! It is my very favorite time of the year, and not just because of my birthday. ;) I just love the entire environment of December! The shopping, the lights, the cool crisp air, family, and lots of love! The biggest thing so far? Hudson is cast FREE! Last week he got the casts removed, and we came home in a new brace (aka snowboard)! The best part about the brace is free feet bath time. Hudson loves it. And I really love touching his little toes! The adjustment to the brace has been a little bit of a challenge for Hudson. He has had to learn to kick both feet at the same time, and his right foot has been a little sore. But we are going to make it through this transition phase just like we have every other step of the way.

You wanna know the best part about this whole process? The Lord has been with us each step of the way. We are so blessed to know He has not left our side.

Joshua 1:9

As I watched Hudson coo and laugh the other night, it was as if I heard a voice inside tell me something very important about him. He is a very special boy. The Lord has plans for my son. Amazing plans. He is going to be the hands and feet of Christ.

Change is abrewin'

In the last month we have -

1.  Had 2 doctors appointments (all appears normal except for baby's feet, which for us is a huge blessing!)
2. Nursery mostly set up - finished painting, crib, changing table, closet, etc.
3. Took a mini-vacation to the lake (one of our favorite places EVER!)
4. Decided on a name....Hudson Douglas :)
5. Started setting up and prepping 2 classrooms for the upcoming school year (Ry got a job!)

We also had our maternity session with Kim Joyce Photography!

So with all that being said, it's pretty much pointless for me to say that we've had a CRAZY summer so far. But it's been incredible all at the same time. As we start to look to the future we've got some even crazier months ahead of us! Just take a look at this...

• August - School starts for both, sale at Restoration Emporium (we are currently working to stock up our booth)

• September - Baby Hudson arrives (castings begin immediately after he's born, weekly), sale at Restoration Emporium, Anna takes maternity leave, Ry is coaching football...

• October - Hopefully will be a slower month as we will be adjusting to life with Hudson, and juggling all else (Anna will still be on maternity leave).

Okay, so since I am switching districts this year AND having a baby in September, I have been SUPER anxious about getting a lot accomplished in my classroom. I guess I just want to be ahead of the game this year since I had about a week to throw it all together last year! Luckily I was able to get right into my classroom right after school ended in May to move all my stuff in and put it away in cabinets so the custodial staff could clean. Well, they finished cleaning my room last week, so I was finally able to get in there and start making it happen this week!

Here are some pictures of the progress...still MUCH to accomplish but I feel like the bulk of it is complete :)

From doorway looking in

Outside of door

$5 Savers crate & some Pinterest inspired items

Trying a new thing this year...Bucket Fillers (waiting on the book to get here!)

Looking at the front of the room

View of back of the room

Star of the Week Board and Mrs. Huff's desk

My cabinets were really awkwardly placed and I had this weird unused space in between them, had some extra desks so decided to put one here to use as a safe seat/quiet spot.

View of doorway/front from my desk

Guided reading table

Sorry...out of order, but this one is of when you first walk in to the right. Student mail and calendar with important dates/announcements.