Summer Days

This was the first summer I had literally "no responsibilities" and so, I was both excited and apprehensive about what it would bring.

One of my favorite things to enjoy during summer is the simplicity. I love the still quiet mornings that seem to linger into afternoon. There is a sense of restoration that occurs each summer, as the stresses of the school year fade into the rear view mirror. 

But in fact, I do get kind of bored when morning after morning inches by and I have to create things to busy my life. Not a bad problem to have, I must admit. And [actually] I envy those moments in the thick of the school year when there just aren't enough hours in the day. 

So this summer, since I had "no responsibilities" I decided I could do something fun for myself and I took a photography class. The CAPTURE class was so inspiring! I've forever wanted to move out of auto mode with my camera and learn how to take [better] photos. This is totally a growing, learning process. But it is SO much fun. I love getting to play and capture my little man in the process. 

My little Royals fan.

Playing catch with daddy before heading to the game with his Nana and PopPop.

Summertime snackin'

One of my favorite parts of our house. I would love to get to the point where I can photograph and blog about creating happy spaces.


Until next time...
Anna :) 

What if I fall?

It's a wonderful life we live, isn't it? Even when it's not so wonderful, life is pretty incredible in and of itself. Quite the miracle to witness.

Our family has had some very wonderful moments this year. And right along with those wonderful moments, we've had moments that have brought us to our knees, begging the Lord for strength, and mercy. 

"Consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds." -James 1:2

On New Years day of this very year, I received news my father passed away. I was brought to my knees, literally, in that moment. You see, my dad and I had a strained relationship due to his struggle with a horrible disease known as alcoholism. In the recent years, it had gotten worse (his addiction, and my ability to deal with that addiction). I was completely blind sighted and heartbroken. Left to deal with all of the things I should have said, should have done. Those were some of the most difficult days of my life. So as the year went on, and with some assistance from a therapist (oh, I'm not too proud, therapy is good for the soul people)...I was able to deal. I've been able to deal with the issue of his addiction, of his passing, and of our relationship. My dad loved me the best way he knew how. And that is enough for me.

So, I have been living on this journey to positivity in order to restore my soul. Because, you know, your soul gets pretty banged up when hard stuff happens. 

You won't even guess what the best part is. Or maybe you will.

The best part of my journey this year has been how it has impacted my relationship with the Lord. I mean, there is no better medicine for my soul than a little dose of Jesus' love. And when I am reminded of His love for me, I just melt. And I cannot believe it, because I am so undeserving...but he is ever faithful. 

Which brings me to our next hurdle of this year, which has reminded me that I need to keep trusting, keep praying, keep loving.


The first of November we found out we were pregnant. What began as a joy to our little family, quickly ended with heartbreak. In that very same week, we were also told that the pregnancy would not be viable and therefore we would miscarry. The days to follow were some of the most difficult we have experienced yet. It was one of those, "bring-you-to-your-knees" moments that we just had to trust that the Lord was keeping us, protecting us, preparing us for something greater. In those moments, we begged for strength and mercy. I mourned for my sweet little child who had not yet been born, and whom I would not get the chance to hold. My husband was a rock in those days, so steadily carrying the weight of our loss, and holding me along with it.

I'm stronger because I had to be. 

I'm smarter because of my mistakes.

Happier because of the sadness I've known.

And now I'm wiser because I have learned. 

You see, I believe no one is exempt from hard times. It's what you do with those hard times that matters. To be completely honest, I don't know that I necessarily believe in the ever popular idea that "God won't give you more than you can handle" either. I look at it more like, sometimes bad things happen in life that we don't understand, or haven't planned for, or don't expect and they find us when our guard is down and its a way for us to learn to lean not on our own understanding, but on the Lord's. 

I am a believer in new beginnings. I am a believer that He makes all things new. I am a believer in goodness, and hope. I CHOOSE to believe these things, each and every day. And it's not always easy, but if I keep walking in the light then surely the light will shine on me and eventually through me.

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." -Matthew 5:16

So I ask myself often (being the perfectionist person that I am), what if I fall? And I've pretty much discovered that I AM going to fall sometimes, and I'm adjusting to that. But then there's this little voice of hope that says, "oh but darling, what if you fly?" 

-Anna

One Year Later

My dearest Hudson,

I cannot believe it's been a year since that eventful day you came into this world. I want you to know how many people were there at the hospital, all day, waiting for your arrival. Before you even arrived, you had captured the hearts of so many. But as your mommy, I cannot tell you how much joy, fear, strength, and love you have brought into my life. I have said it so many times, but before you, I had longed so much to be a mother and you made all of those hopes and dreams come true by making me one!

Your entrance brought a lot of joy, but there was also a lot of uncertainty. As your mommy I worried a lot about whether you would grow and thrive the way I know God intentioned for you to. There were so many people praying for you and your treatment as an itty bitty boy. I remember those first few weeks being some of the most heart aching, wonderful days of my life. It was hard watching you have to wear those little casts all of the time. Yet, I was mesmerized by you. We dreamt of the day we would watch you run and play. Although there were days that were extrememely difficult, I want you to know that Jesus kept me constant and reminded me that you, my son, were going to do great things.

As the days slowly turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, you continued to not only grow and thrive, but overflow our cups with joy and love. You were SUCH a good little boy. You slept well, you ate well, you cuddled, you cooed, you pooped, and you did it all in stride. I know there will be a lot you will teach me about patience.

Hudson, this past week, celebrating your first birthday was simply a reminder from the Lord of His promises. Jesus promised daddy and I that He would take care of you this first year and the years to come, and he did that and so much more. I wish there was a way to put into words how it feels to be your mommy, but I simply cannot limit the love I have for you to a few words on a page. You must know through everything I do that you are loved immeasurably more!

You will look back at pictures as you grow big and strong and see that there were many people here to celebrate you on your first year. You are that special to so many people. It was the most perfect day. There was a crisp fall feel to the air, and the sun shone so bright for you. Friends and family filed into our little house with food, gifts and smiles anxiously awaiting to hear your sweet giggle or catch a glimpse of your stunning smile with those eyes that would light up a room. We laughed as you (and mommy and daddy) opened gifts and you were so enamored with the big kids trying to help as well. We celebrated by singing happy birthday, and letting you dig in to your monster cake. Which you did, and you ate about half. Haha. The day was simply a reflection of the joy and happiness you have brought us over this past year. And in true fashion, you made this day even more perfect by taking your  very first steps. YOU my son, are a miracle and those first steps are more than just that. They represent all that you will accomplish in this life.

I want to wish you a very happy first birthday, and simply try and tell you I love you to the moon and back. Thank you for being my joy, and my pride. You are my boy.

Love,

Your mommy


We partied hard to celebrate your birthday sweet boy, here are our captured moments!